Hard to believe it's been almost a year since my last post. Not that I've ever been super attentive to this blog. Anyway, Happy New Year, all!
In so many ways, it seems the world has either gone much more topsy turvy than it had been previously or it's just decided to stop hiding this other side of itself. Not only are there all the all-too-ubiquitous conflicts raging around the globe, but somehow a seemly unstable, inappropriate and otherwise stomach churning man who has never served in public office has been elected president of our country. Have we gotten only what we deserve? Are we that far gone? Or is there hope for us yet?
While my sister sings with a gospel choir in a Unity concert, I will be marching on the nation's capital with thousands of other women. Even though I feel a little foolish doing it, like I'm posing as a community organizer without being the best organizer of even my own life, I feel the need to show up. I hope my showing up is a sign to others that it is important to respect each other, to protect one another from harm, to celebrate both the differences among us as well as what we share, that winning isn't about knocking someone else down but about lifting each other up.
In other news, this past year the little singing together for fun group got un-fun and fell apart, and I stopped going to open mic events. Auditioned for a small a cappella group, got a call back and then was told they really did need someone who could sing in the Alto II range. Try though I did, I just couldn't bring much power to that lower part of my voice.
My cousin is section leader in a Sweet Adelines group and is tempting me to try one of the chapters in my area, but that's a huge commitment, both financially and time-wise. And I still don't want to give up either of my bell choirs or the church choir. She and my sister and I included her mom and tried to include our other cousin in the annual Christmas song this year. Hopefully next year we can pull it off.
Mom and I sang with the little a cappella group again last summer and now she sounds like she wants to try singing baritone with me (baritone in barbershop isn't low, it's kind of all over the place). She just wants to sing the same part with me, and I'm unwilling to be a lead or a bass. I think she should be a bass, really, but she's been singing lead because that's the melody line.
I've been participating in community conversations and interfaith events this past year - more of them than usual - and though my inner critic is back with a vengeance so far it hasn't stopped me. So what if I'm not able to do it up to my own impossible standards? Do it anyway.
And finally - completely unrelated to anything else I've said here - the reason for the title of this post. Last January, I told you about falling for someone who didn't have romantic feelings for me. Well this fall, I met someone online who totally fell hard for me on day one and despite going out 4 or 5 times and being treated like a queen, I had no romantic feelings for him. Had to tell him that he's not the one for me. It sucked. Such a nice guy. Instant karma.
